tic tock .....

As if I haven´t been brief enough in the last few months.....this too will be short. As I wind down my affairs here and prepare to close up shop as it were, my computer has thrown in the moist, humid towel that it has been engulfed in for the past two years. It has made a valiant effort indeed. But alas, I am now left without contact to the outside world!! On top of that, the DVD player has stopped working as well..( or as poorly..). Now, its not that Im hooked on video viewing. I´ll admit I occasionally buy a bootleg (oh no! Ive gone public with my criminality..I could get picked up....) movie. Sometimes they are so bad I can´t watch them. For example on one the volume was so low I actually had to position myself inches from the television. Then there was one where I kept hearing the rustling of the recorder going on through out most of what little I watched. The best was one dubbed in Russian with Spanish subtitles. But I digress....What i watch DAILY is Seinfeld. I was recently discussing this with my neighbor. ¨I dont know how you do it¨she said. The other night when the DVD player decided to give it up ( this is actually the second time..it resurrected itself so Im holding out hope for a second coming) I felt so saddened that I couldnt watch i fell into a slight depression. Now, is this because I really find epesodes Ive seen many many times so hilarious I cant stand the thought of being deprived? Well, partially..but more then that, living in a remote village in another country without a computer, the cast of Seinfeld is the closest thing I have to friends. I know, it sounds crazy but think of it.I know them all so well, Ive had them in my home for years now, through thick and thin they´ve been there for me. Right now, as I wind things down here, packing away hammocks, getting the rugs washed and packed away, showing the caretaker what i need him to do, I am feeling a lot of loss. Loss of a home I love, loss of the terrain, the flamingos , loss of a dream. Thats not to say im not looking forward to and thankful for the house, the wonderful people, the love I am heading back to, but hey, loss is loss. So as I sit here cut off, for now, from everything and everybody, my Seinfeld family was a comfort to me. A rudder, something Im familiar with that makes me laugh. Nothing unexpected, safe. That is, until the DVD player breaks. There are no guarantees in life. We knew going into this that the future was unclear and thank god we did it anyway. What an adventure its been! So this isnt the first or tenth or twentieth go round of launching into something unfamiliar..its just these places in between the steps I dont care for. I am waiting, in a holding pattern until my next launch. There are many times in life we have to go through things alone. So though my friends and family are thousands of miles away, my video pals are a comfort. Until I leave, Ill keep trying to get the player to work, and though the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, sometimes I push ¨play¨and it works...you never know if you dont try, right? 12 days and counting........