horrific stench and coconut flan

No pictures today...i was thinking that I have never actually shown you any pictures of Santa Clara itself so my goal is to do that Thursday when I post the new blog. Since I didnt post one last Thur., that makes this the new old blog i guess....yes, i'm in a weird space today. Yesterday was dark, dreary, very windy and rainy. Today has been more of the same minus the wind. It was actually cool enough for me to put on socks around the house.
Last week we paid some guys to come cut down all the coconuts. There were huge clusters of them in some of the trees that turned watering and yardwork into some kind of adrenaline junkie extreme sport....(commentator comes on speaking in hushed tone)..."she's going for the philadendron under the tall palm....OH! Thats gotta hurt..oh..is she Ok? Is she moving? There's a dog licking her face ..the paramedics have arrived but they are evidently having a hard time moving the dog. He seems to think it's some sort of game...". Anyway, we had them cut down. When there was a threat of Rina arriving in our neighborhood, we patted ourselves on the back for the foresight to remove potential missiles from our parimeter but for lack of hurricane force winds, they remain laying in the front yard in a heap...or pile...mound? stack? we thought we had a guy coming to buy them but he never showed up. I even pulled some out into the drive with a sign "se vende coco's"on Sunday for the weekenders...no luck.
Late this morning after breakfast and fiddling about, we called our friend Merritt who lives down the road in Dzilam de Bravo ( FYI- the pirate Jean LaFitte is actually buried there). He has been ill- Merritt, not Jean- and was finally up for visitors. I wont go into his afflictions but i will tell you is he was recently hospitalized for 10 days, had a major operation that took 6 hours, ICU for two days and the bill was $25,000.00 What do you think that would have run in the states!! He has international ins. so most of it will be covered. Dzilam de Bravo is about 10 miles down the coast. it is literally the end of the road. Beyond it is a wildlife refuge (one of the places the flamingos go for the winter...not much of a migration!)As we approached Dzilam the stench was overpowering." What is that?!" we both scrinched up our faces and rolled up the windows as fast as we could. It smelled like everyones sewage was in some large open community pool. I think what it actually was is a lot of rotting seaweed. the wind has been blowing in hard from the north which means everything in the gulf has been 'flushed' south to this town. While we were there, we also visited a friend named Linda whose house is awash with the beautiful things she has painted all over her walls and the fabulous tile mosaics she has created outside. She is originally from canada and has lived here for over 15 years. She has no car and lives on $250.00 a month. She takes in lots of stray cats and dogs so its a real menagerie. I brought her some books and she made tea and broke out a treasured box of cookies from Wal-Mart. She asked us if we had remembered to turn our clocks back (daylight savings comes early here). " oh! thats right! Folks at the meeting Thur. told us but we forgot." we promptly switched our timepieces... After we drank, ate and caught up on all the latest, we headed for home, thankful to leave the smell of Dzilam behind us. On the way we passed flocks of egrets hanging out with flamingos. A heron or two, drove passed 'mino de oro' an abandoned salt hacienda. as we approached the edge of santa Clara, we saw the "cocos' man. He drives a beat up white VW van with a load speaker mounted to the top. He drives up and down blaring things about his various coco treats. We stopped and talked to him about our pile-o-cocos in the yard and a couple hours later, there he was. He gave us a complimentary slice of DELICIOUS coconut flan...omg to die for! His wife makes it. Mmmmm...if I knew how to make that i'd weigh 300 lbs...after he and john loaded up all the nuts and he paid us (about $18.00) john came in and we played a hand of gin..an afternoon ritual. when we finished, we looked outside-'its dark! Its a quarter to 6 and its dark!"..'the time change....." so that explains my weird space. it's gloomy, drizzly and dark at 5:30..it feels like portland! Makes me a bit melancholy ( Lynda, you will be happy to know I used the dictionary to look that up...)so, there you have it. Just split a piece of flan with john and we'll watch an episode of Mad Men we checked out at the library in merida. Pretty good day even if it did stink and get dark by 6......

Tiny bit

So this will be the shortest blog ever....sorry, I know I've been remiss...I have been without internet for a while now. I used up my allotted megabytes early sending and receiving photos. Oops..won't do that again...
So lets see...we successfully renewed our FM 2's ( resident status certification) and it was a very simple, painfree process (once we got new bank cards. I did tell you about John leaving the bank card at the ATM right?). Luckily, our friend Lynda came to visit and brought all of our mail, tea, picture frames, books...yes, those who come to visit know they have to lug not only their things but a list of wants and needs for us...our friends love us ( good thing...). John had a wonderful visit with his family in Minnesota. A good time was had by all and Lucky kept me company while he was away and before Lyndas arrival ( dont tell him but hes getting fixed tomorrow,... Lucky that is, not John!)....so, Im very sorry to cut this off all ready but I have to run. I need to go set up my meeting (where there will be 3 in attendance,=...) pack up, stop at walmart for milk then get home. The guys came and cut down the coconuts the other day so a storm wouldnt blow one through a window, now they are in a pile in front of the house. A guy is supposed to come buy them at one so...gotta run!

keep the doors wide open

I find I am in a reflective time- the period between Sept 25th, when we left portland , the two weeks we spent on the road and our arrival here in southern Mexico on Oct 10th. It was so much more then a trip. It was the culmination of a five year plan, much preparation and psychic re-arranging. After lots of purging of possessions, many, many goodbyes and enormous financial changes we were ready both physically and mentally. There was a brief moment as we hit the freeway on ramp my head screamed " what are you doing?!!" but it blew out the window and i settled in for an adventure.
I keep picturing the seemingly endless miles of nothing. Days of scenery that never changed. I was pondering that today while i was in my back yard hacking palm fronds with a machete. It struck me how life is like that sometimes. I clearly remember being so sad that my life seemed like a bad movie being played over and over, endlessly looping back on itself. Not only did the scenery never change, i had no hope that it ever would until it ended. The most horrifying thought was that it wouldn't end for a long time.
Luckily, i experienced some major life changes including the epiphony that i had some say in how my life went. Not only could i make choices, i didn't have to be a victim of the outcome. I also learned if i made a choice that wasnt good...i could change my mind! I acquired two vitally important tools- self esteem and perspective. I also developed a point of view that was bigger than myself. I realized i truly am a part of a much larger picture and i can add to it in a positive way or big a bug on the worlds windshield.
The freedom that i have in my life today, the freedom to enjoy my life today, is amazing. That trip down with it's endlessly empty vistas was just part of the journey to get here. Eventually the view changed. We emerged from a vast nothingness to endless variety- acres and acres of sunflowers as far as the eye could see , vast jungles and rainforests where we expected gorillas to come crashing out. We saw roadside communities reminiscent of Mad Max where burning barrels spewed black smoke and greasy men weilded enormous tools trying to fix trucks that were new in the 50's . We passed over country that had been hit by a hurricane and slowly navigated washed out bridges, roads half erased by mudslides and relatively new freeways that were so full of axle breaking pot holes we thought they had been bombed.
Had we, at some point, just stopped, thinking 'its too ugly, I can't go on. I can't look at this anymore" we would have missed it and we never would have gotten to our destination. Sometimes, you end up on a road where there is nothing for as far as the eye can see, but thats OUR eye. Sometimes there is something a little further on, something we just can't see yet. We consult our map, ask directions and head on to our destination. Sometimes detours happen and what seemed like a big waste of time and gas, turns out to be one of your favorite parts of the trip. I don't think we are meant to know our entire path or why we go one way instead of another, our job is be present on the journey. Our journey brought us to a magical place with warm winds, tropical birds a new language. I have people that help me when i need it, i have keys to a couple of buildings in the city and two of my neighbors homes. I am trusted and cared about. I am here with a man I've been with for 32 years and we still like each other most of the time. Who knows where the path leads from here. It's my job, and my pleasure, to keep the doors open to possibilities and proceed with grace. Jackson Brown says " sometime between the time you arrive and the time you go, there may be a reason you were here but you'll never know". I don't need to know.