I started going through things at 8 am and didn't stop until Carol picked me up to go to a ball game at about 6:00 pm....where did all of this come from?! It's also a matter of re-arranging. It feels like those little plastic puzzles with the squares you have to shift around so you can get the piece in the right position. More purging in the attic which made room for things from the bedroom....picked out a few sweaters, jeans, jackets, hats etc. to put in a rubbermaid bin to leave here. The rest went to goodwill. Then we started on John"s closet and did the same. Sorted through a few more books too. The big bookcase in the bedroom is looking barren. This is such an interesting process...slowly things are going away, then we will follow. It's a slow transition.
When I first got clean, I had absolutely nothing-not a plate, towel, bowl, pan..nada. The kids and I had a dumpster route. Little by little we acquired the basics then added on extras. As the years and our income increased, more "things" came our way. Then the bulk was increased by gifts from friends, cards, letters ( I'm dating myself! Who writes letters anymore?), awards, school work, photos! I had none when I got here- now I don't even know how many albums and discs full we have in addition to an under the bed rubbermaid container.
As I sift through all of it, I am struck by the question "what have I saved this for?" More importantly, WHO have I saved it for? I have the memories so why do I require a phsical reminder? In particular, the photos. If-when-John and I are gone, a lot of these pictures will mean nothing to our kids. They won't know who these people were. This mess would be left to our kids and in a time when they were already burdened, they would have more to deal with. It hinders me, binds me, keeps me busy with it's upkeep and confines me with it's bulk. I can't move forward because it keeps me immobilized.
What does one really need. All of these objects are not needed. We will need a minimum amount of clothing, basic household items which are already there, a few books, music and an atlas. The latter serving merely as a guide to the general path we will follow but when unincumbered by rooms full of clutter, who knows where the road will really lead us.
Wow that was an amazing post. Sheer poetry
ReplyDelete